Visual Podcast-Return to Europe, primarily for love

Mustafa: People born in 2000 are not in their early 20s, so it is yet to be seen what the new generation will make of the modernity they were born in. Stories do slip out of the heavily-regulated information sector in the country of social dissent in the cultural sector. An LGBT-themed photograph wins a competition only to be later censored; a magazine-article slips through the system to provide a voice for sexual and political minorities only to be later quelled by mainstream intolerance; a secular blogger receives backlash for ‘blasphemous’ social media posts. It is interesting to observe, from a distance, the social evolution of the youth there.

My own experience of Omani society is that the majority of people are very religious and conservative, ruled by a cosmopolitan and secular elite educated abroad. However, the actual laws the govern Oman remain conservative, and the elite live a life above the law. A regular Omani faces legal restrictions in access to alcohol because most people are satisfied by just that, whereas a rich person would have booze flowing in a house party.

I suppose that the political elite in Oman chose not to repeat the mistake of the founder of Turkey or the dethroned monarch of Iran in terms of the imposition of secular social policies on a population that was not receptive to it.

Tobias: Speaking of the legal sphere, we did projects with the authorities in Oman in the public prosecution office around issues related to smuggling, counterfeit money, human trafficking, modern slavery and human rights. We also engaged with legislative bodies such as Parliament in trainings of the nature of legislative processes. To be honest, I had the feeling that officials remained always open for discussion. Door were kept open for organizations such as ours for debate and discussion.

Mustafa: I understand then, that even when certain lines were to be trod with caution, the government remained open for reform. It is quite interesting to hear of activities of nation-building of a sort. The first constitution of the country did come into being only after the year 2000.

Tobias: You hit the nail on the head by using the term ‘nation-building.’ As I mentioned, the monarch had embarked on creating national cultural institutions like the Opera House or the National Museum. A major theatre scene was only in its infancy while I was there.
Moving forward in the context of a wider ‘Arab Spring,’ Oman was starting to focus on the legal aspect of state-building and institution forming.

Mustafa: This ties into the narrative of how the new generation chooses to continue the legacy started by the late-Sultan. I already mentioned the winning photograph in a competition of two boys wearing traditional attire on a bicycle which had the pride flag attached to the back of the bike. I imagine most people who saw the photograph were not even aware what that rainbow stood for.
I find it gratifying to see state-building and the development of independent civil society as it transpires in real-time during an ever-unpredictable period in the regional political context. It is not unheard in the Middle East for a country reaching heights in terms of development, only for all to collapse in one bang as a result of conflicting identities, fractured alliances and all-out war.

If you allow me to elaborate on my own experience growing up there and until I met you at the age of 20 as I attempted to embark on my own adult-life-trajectory, I felt very stifled as I turned 18. I had become a secular humanist who just didn’t belong, let alone being gay. I never felt safe to express my opinion in any setting whatsoever: not at college, not within the family, and never in any social gathering. I remember attempting to start a discussion in a social-issues college class about lack of equality for women the Omani legal system, but it was my female peers who attacked me for being anti-religious and offensive to their beliefs.

I had a couple of like-minded best friends who found it just as oppressive. This was in contrast to the experience of a friend who was the daughter of an expatriate. Although Omani society constitutes a religious diversity which shields it from the broader Sunni-Shia divide in the region, represented by rivals Saudi Arabia and Iran, people who are not Muslim in Oman keep to themselves in their own houses of worship. Omanis might be very hospitable to foreigners, but they are not so kind to people from within who do not conform. This is not to mention racist attitudes, emboldened by the legal system, to
nationalities which aren’t Europeans. I bet you found out a lot about modern-day slavery with domestic or low-wage workers in the country.

Muscat is a place of contrasts, if anything. Being a port-city, it has an ancient history of trade with the outside world which opened it for wealthy residents from the Indian subcontinent who even eventually acquired citizenship thanks to their wealth, but the majority of Indians in Oman are treated cruelly with no consideration to basic human rights. Attitudes in the interior of the country are even more closed off.

As I grew up in a religious family, sheltered from the rest of the diverse Omani society, I found it extremely unwelcoming to venture out into mainstream society with my secular views. My experience speaks to the depth of contrast between the two layers of the elite and the general populace. Your cosmopolitan social circles were not my experience of the country as I attended college and led a closeted gay lifestyle.

As I met you, your awareness of that contrast became enriched and you helped me in my quest to escape the thralls of my family. You helped me apply to continue my higher education abroad. However, even as I moved to the Netherlands, ironically to be closer to another man whom I had met earlier on a vacation to Italy, I did not manage to be financially independent from my family and still feared being outed. The relationship with the other man did not last long precisely because of my inability to communicate to him the frustration of my situation in life and instability of my residence status in Holland.
All the aforementioned brought you and I closer to each other as I found in you a lover who is reliable and cognisant of the risks I was exposed to. Our love grew to replace my lamentations of dreams that kept evading me, and I am so grateful for that.

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